batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im calling her cock vulture from now on
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
