im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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