he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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