So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
