my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
