i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
