am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
