I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
