Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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