I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
