Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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