How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
