She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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