Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
