Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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