the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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