I can text with my tongue
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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