I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
