The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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