I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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