How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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