I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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