I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
