thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
