Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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