So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
