Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
