but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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