You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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