My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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