Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You dont lie about slip and slides
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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