Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
