it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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