belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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