i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
wow bdsm is so cute
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
