i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
