I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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