You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
