seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
