i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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