I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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