She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize