It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
