I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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