ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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