okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
