called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Couch. On fire.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
