I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize