Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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