Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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