I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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