Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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