I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize