I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
