U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
