Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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