can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize