just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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