Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
