I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
