Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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