hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
