Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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